a cross drawn in dust

Finding Peace in Dark Days

Note: This post also appears on my other blog mindfulchristianyear.com. Because loving someone with mental illness causes so many dark days, I also wanted to share it here.

Suffering is a given in any life. But, for some Christians, suffering is a shock. A sign that God isn’t paying attention. Or a symptom that they are praying incorrectly. The idea that a Christian life is all prosperity and popcorn is widespread … and wrong.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Jesus, John 16:33

How can we “take heart” when pain and sorrow, fear and loss take up center stage in our lives. God is omnipotent. God can do anything. God could fix this in a second. Why does He allow our suffering?

Jesus warned us that we would have trouble on Earth, but He encourages us to remember that He has overcome the world. In fact, He says “so that in me you may have peace” in almost the same breath. So what does that mean exactly when pain, sorrow and loss are center stage in our lives? And how do we get there? I believe some answers come from Paul’s words about his pain and trouble in 2nd Corinthians 12:6-10.

Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul, 2nd Corinthians 12:6-10

This statement makes perfect sense when combined with the idea of a God who consents to Satan’s request for test a person, as He did to Job (Job 1:6-22) and to Peter (Luke 22:31).

God knows that suffering develops humility, a true understanding of who we each are and who God is. Without this depth of awareness, we can’t be in a strong relationship with God. Our trials not only build faith and character; they also open our eyes to the reality of our existence

Jesus prays for us in times of temptation and suffering. For example, He told Peter that He had prayed that Peter’s faith would not fail. It’s notable that Jesus did not pray that Peter would not deny Him. He knew the terrible experience was necessary for Peter and for all who later learned about it.

The phrase “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” is not from the Bible. It’s from “Conan the Barbarian,” with the script slightly misquoting Nietzsche. Actually, suffering makes us weaker, which is a good thing.

Why? Because God wants people to see His presence in His Christians (and not just in Paul and Peter, either.) Suffering breaks up the vessel of our self-centeredness, our self-regard. A broken vessel displays the light of God’s presence within to others. Maintaining faith, joy and hope during a serious calamity is the best Christian witness we can ever give.

How do we do that? The good news is: It’s not up to us.

God tells us, as He told Paul: “My graces are sufficient for you.” I believe that this means that God will give us the abundant graces we need to deal with suffering without fear and anxiety, but with His peace and joy. All we need to do is be open to accept these graces.

I have found this to be true in my life. I open myself up to God in continual prayer and thanksgiving, using Christian mindfulness. God fills me up with peace and joy even in the hospital waiting room, in a locked psych ward with a loved one, at the funeral home, on the scene of the accident, in the board conference room and during the dark of the night. It’s not up to me. God is doing it for me and through me.

When we suffer and rest in God’s grace, God responds.

I will give you the secrets of darkness, riches stores in secret places, so that you may know I am the Lord, the God of Israel who summons you by name.

Isaiah 45:3

Kay Warren, co-founder of Saddleback Church, has called this experience “gritty grace.” Maybe the abrasion we feel is good for everyone.

1 in 5 kids has mental illness

How Children’s Mental Illness Hurts Workplaces

Earlier this year, Nationwide Children’s Hospital released a first-of-its-kind study on how pediatric and adolescent mental health crises impact the workforce. The answer is: Hard. Very hard.

The study is titled “The Great Collide: The Impact of Children’s Mental Health on the Workforce.” Funded by the Nationwide Foundation, it is part of Nationwide Children’s Hospital’s On Our Sleeves movement.

It found that among working parents:

  • 53 percent have missed work at least once a month to deal with a child’s mental health issues.
  • 54 percent have interrupted their work to answer communication about their child’s mental health situation during work hours.
  • 85 percent think it’s a good idea to talk about their children’s mental health issues, but few have done it.
  • Up to 50 percent are thinking about their children’s mental health while at work.

The study also found that working parents under age 40 are more concerned about their children’s mental health and more likely to select jobs offering benefits that give them access to mental health services.

If these numbers seem high to you, it’s because of the secrecy involved in dealing with a child’s mental illness. You don’t call in because your child is sick; instead you claim to be sick yourself. I know this from experience.

During the 1990s, I had a young child with mental health issues. My boss once denied me a raise specifically because of the number of phone calls that I received from my child’s school. I frequently had to go get my child at school due to behavioral problems. (My co-workers joked that I should put a courier slip in her hair on a barrette, so the courier could bring her to the office when needed. That way I wouldn’t have to leave.) I held my breath until 2:30 p.m. when school was out every work day. And that was before we had to start homeschooling for the child’s safety from bullying.

Nationwide is adding resources for parents on OnOurSleeves.org as well as rolling out a program for employers soon. Parents need this help. Therapists rarely have time to help parents with all the caregiving issues around having a child with a mental illness. Yet it’s so, so common.

ipad with medical record

Keep Your Own Record

Even today, it’s hard for medical institutions and doctors to piece together a medical record. So it can be helpful to create your own medical treatment record for your loved one with mental illness. That way you have something ready when you need to provide information.

The excellent book “When Someone You Love Has a Mental Illness” by Rebecca Woolis suggests that your record contain information about:

  • Your loved one’s level of functioning before becoming ill.
    • Highest level of school attained
    • Work history
    • Level of basic life skills (cooking, cleaning, money management, experience with independent living)
    • Social skills and relationships with peers
    • Significant achievements
  • Their symptoms.
    • What they are
    • When they began
    • Worst episodes with dates
    • Most effective treatment so far
  • Treatment history.
    • Dates of psychiatric hospitalizations
    • Diagnosis
    • Types of medication used and their effectiveness (with dates if possible)
    • Types of therapy used and their effectiveness (with dates if possible)
  • Your loved one’s level of functioning between hospitalizations and treatments.
  • The names, addresses, phone numbers and emails of all members of the treatment team (psychiatrist, therapist, social worker or case manager).
  • Medical insurance information.

When you are dealing with mental health professionals, you want to appear credible. You make the best impression when you are courteous and respectful of their time. Try to understand that these professionals are under constraints such as:

  • Not being able to be effective with those who refuse treatment.
  • A heavy caseload.
  • Lack of adequate funding.
  • HIPPA and other confidentiality regulations.

Even if the illness is decades long, try to go back through your documentation to create a medical record. It will probably be more helpful than the record that the treatment team has.

alpha invite

Ask Anything

Loving Someone With Mental Illness is a support group for friends and families of those with severe and persistent mental illness. Meeting twice a month on Zoom, we share our stories, learn more about dealing with mental illness and pray together.

During October and November 2022, we are holding a series of conversations about things we question in our lives. This is a judgment-free space to connect and process questions about things, such as “Why did God allow my loved one to get sick?” and “Does God heal?” These discussions are part of our Alpha series.

Here’s a video about the Alpha series.

If you’d like to join us at Loving Someone With Mental Illness, contact karentwinem@gmail.com.

Columbus-Area Respite for Caregivers

Columbus-area caregivers now have a free program that helps both the caregiver and a loved one with mental illness. ADAMH, Concord Counseling Services and NAMI have teamed to provide this respite program for caregivers to all Franklin County, Ohio, residents.

Please Google “mental health respite programs” to find similar programs in your area.

A respite program allows a trained professional to spend time with your loved one so you can do other things. You’ll get a three-hour block per week to yourself so you can enjoy self-care and tend to other responsibilities. Even better your loved ones with mental illness get to enjoy activities they pick and interact with other people safely, with a trained mental health professional nearby.

This video explains the Concord respite program that’s free to all residents of Franklin County, Ohio.

The mental health specialist spends up to three hours a week or 12 hours per month between 7 a.m. and 9 p.m. with your loved one. They can do activities at home or out in the community. Flex funds are available to help pay for the activities. There’s no waiting list at this time.

For more information about the Concord respite program, call 614-501-6264 or click here.

This image of sunlight coming through clouds illustrates God talking to us.

Talking and Listening to God

“Developing a conversational relationship with God” is the subtitle of Dallas Willard’s book “Hearing God.” Willard was a philosopher and respected Christian “teacher to the teachers” who went to be with Jesus in 2013.

Many of us who love someone with mental illness would like to speak with God. We want answers. And often we want direction.

Willard believed that God still speaks today. In fact, hearing God’s voice fits into the larger context of walking in a close friendship with him.

There is one caution: God speaks mostly to people who obey His teachings and want to do His will. Again: You need to be willing to do what God says before you are likely to hear his voice speaking to you.

As Jesus said, “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you.” Abiding in Jesus minute by minute through Christian mindfulness puts us in a position to hear God specifying His will. We become as Willard wrote “someone who leads the kind of life demonstrated in the Bible: a life of personal, intelligent interaction with God.”

Feasting on God’s word

The Bible fixes the boundaries of everything that God will say to humankind, Willard wrote. Indeed, God speaks most often during Bible reading and study. Have you ever had a verse jump off the page to you, even though you’ve read it many times? That is God speaking.

But this can also happen while listening to another person, whether it be a sermon or a conversation. I also believe that synchronicity can point the way to a message. If you hear the same verse repeatedly … in Bible study, in a sermon and in a book you’re reading … it may be God emphasizing something to you.

God also speaks through dreams, visions and events. But most of the time he speaks through a small, still voice that can only be heard in quiet. God’s voice comes in a spirit of peace, joy and good will. So God’s voice sounds like Jesus. And we can only know what Jesus sounds like through Bible study.

Seven steps toward hearing God

This summary may help you as you seek to hear God’s voice.

  1. Begin with a prayer in Jesus’ name for protection from evil influences.
  2. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to listen well.
  3. Remain alert.
  4. Reject anything that is contrary to Biblical truth.
  5. Feel welcome to write down the thoughts that come for further study.
  6. Understand that real communications from God are:
    • Biblically sound
    • Glorify God
    • Advance the kingdom
    • Help people
    • Help you to grow spiritually
  7. Thank God for the time together.

Walking with God in Christian mindfulness is a sweet time of communion. We should expect that God will help us learn what we should know and what we should do.

treasure in darkness

Discover Treasure in the Darkness

Several years ago, I went to a retreat for mothers with children who have mental illness at Saddleback Church’s retreat center. Rick and Kay Warren, Saddleback’s founders and senior pastors, know the struggle of parents who have a child with mental illness in an intimate and devastating way. Their son struggled for many years before the illness took his life.

Kay Warren, who led the retreat, told a story about having a dark, no-sleep night. She went downstairs to the office and looked up all the references to dark or darkness in the Bible. She found 25 pages of them in Psalms alone.  When she read this passage, she felt the Lord speaking to her.

“I will give you the treasures of darkness and riches hidden in secret places, so that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who call you by your name.”

Isaiah 45:3 (NRSV)

This verse has haunted me since. Is it possible that those of us who love someone with mental illness can find treasures of darkness? I studied the verse more, and it gave me even more comfort.

The verse is part of a prophecy, 210 years before the fact, about Cyrus, who defeated Babylon and was instrumental in allowing the Jews to return to Jerusalem. God is talking about treasures of gold and silver that had been buried underground in Babylon.

So more than 200 years later, someone showed the book of Isaiah to Cyrus. He saw his own name and his actions predicted in it. Cyrus understood that his victory and these buried treasures came to him because of the Hebrew God. He decided to release the Hebrews because of it.

Why did God do this for Cyrus? He was a pagan. Some historians of the time wrote that he was haughty and cruel.  This much is implied: Cyrus may have undertaken his campaign of wars for his own motives, but God gave him great success so that the God of Israel could be glorified and the will of God regarding the captive Jews carried out.  When Cyrus read the prophecy, he knew that the Lord, the God of Israel called him by name.

God has called us by name as well. As our walk is deepened with Jesus, our character is deepened. In our situation, the sorrow is too deep for us to fake a relationship with God anymore.

From the Bible we know that not everything that happens in this broken world is God’s will. Just listen to Jesus in Matthew 23:37:

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.”

But, as with Cyrus, God can work in difficult situations. God has hidden treasures in the darkness of suffering. Each of us has to ask ourselves: Will I surrender myself to God in the darkness? Will I listen?

“These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold … and your faith is more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tired by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.” (1 Peter 1:7 NLT)

As we know from the Bible, every Christian experiences trouble. The question is how we respond. Sometimes we envy Christians who don’t seem to suffer much. But Scripture and observation can tell us that those Christians may not learn to depend on God in a deep way (2 Corinthians 1:9). Their faith may be shallow, and their ministry skills less developed. Pain produces love in a Christian who is filled with God’s grace.

God brings extensive blessings on those of us who suffer much. Bitter blessings, to be sure. But we learn so much about how God feels about his children. We know that God gives us joy and treasure, even in deep darkness.

During the retreat, Kay Warren pointed out that enemy of our souls wants to separate us from intimacy with God. Satan wants us to focus on our pain, disappointments, cynicism and troubles, in the night especially. He wants us to dwell on the hurt and to believe that God is not there for us.

When this happens, people run from Jesus. And some never find him. I have seen first-hand the people in our situation who rely on themselves and do not have a relationship with the Lord. It isn’t pretty.

So what is the reality of our situation? It is that our child is sick and God is present. We don’t know why or how it will all work out. We don’t know the eternal plan. If God tried to tell us about it, it would be like a person talking to an ant. It’s just not possible for the ant to understand.

We truly do not know the reality of our situation and how God is working in it. As Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:12 (NIV), “Now we see but a poor reflection; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”  1 Cor. 13:12 (NIV)

We do need to reject the voice of the enemy and establish even deeper intimacy with God. We can gather the buried treasures in the darkness.  I think these treasures may be the thing that Jesus called “living water.” God has put it there for us so that we have what we need to survive and thrive.

Bring your grief and loss, your hopes and dreams, to Jesus in prayer. Spend as much time with Him as you can. As James writes, “Come close to God, and he will come close to you.” God is hurting with you over your loved one’s mental illness. He is inviting you to come, rest in His presence and drink the living water and other treasures of the darkness.

To be in God’s presence, we need to be accessible (or present), responsive and engaged. You can use the acronym ARE to check in on yourself. This intimacy with God will carry you, and even give you joy and peace.

God invites us to pray for healing of our loved one, but we must understand that some other plan may be operating that we don’t get to know about. Kay Warren pointed out that the focus of our intimacy with God cannot be on the health of our children. What has to carry us is our intimacy with God. Your desire for God has to be great, whether or not you are suffering. Frankly, the only way to do that is to ask for the graces and the treasure necessary.

“Let the one who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on their God.”

Isaiah 50:10 (NIV)

Loving Someone With Mental Illness Support Group

Loving Someone With Mental Illness is a Vineyard Columbus support group that’s open to all. We meet at 7 p.m. Eastern Time on the first and third Thursdays on Zoom. Meetings last about one hour.

We share, have a brief teaching and pray for each other. The conversation is confidential. The teachings include practical information about helping loved ones with mental illness. We also include faith-based teachings on how to walk with Jesus through this difficult situation.

As leaders of the group, my husband and I have loved ones who have diagnosed mental illnesses. The group has been in existence for more than 10 years. You are welcome to attend regularly or whenever you feel the need.

To obtain the Zoom information, feel welcome to email karentwinem@gmail.com

sad caregiver at Christmas

Holiday Tips When Someone You Love Has a Mental Illness

The holidays can be some of the worst days of the year when your family is dealing with mental illness.  Not only is it TOO DARN DARK AND COLD, but it’s also a time when expectations of being Merry and Bright can seem especially hard for your family. The stress can make your loved one have more symptoms, and that can make you even more anxious.

Here are 14 tips to handling the holidays. Some ideas were suggested by an excellent book:  “When Someone You Love Has a Mental Illness: A Handbook for Family, Friends, and Caregivers” by Rebecca Woolis.  Others are things I’ve learned, often the hard way, over time.

  1. Accept this ain’t gonna be pretty.  If you can get rid of your unrealistic expectations and be honest with your loved one and all the other family members, it will go better.
  2. Help your loved one to keep her dignity. Provide a gift fund or another way to allow her to give gifts, so she won’t feel left out if she has no money. Scan every situation that’s coming up to make sure that your loved one won’t get unwelcomed attention.
  3. Hey, it’s a good excuse to keep the unofficially crazy family members away.  You want a small gathering of your own family. Period. Otherwise it’s too stressful for your loved one.
  4. Keep it short. Keep it informal.  If you have to do the Big Family Thing, let your loved one stay home. Big groups are too much for your loved one, especially when you have to Put On a Happy Face. And do your own celebration. 
  5. If any extended family members really want to see your loved one, they know your phone number and where you live. Something private is better.  And try not to be bitter if no one asks. (There’s a reason God chose you to be this person’s lifeline. Not everyone can deal with this.)
  6. The best answer I’ve found to the question … How is he? … is “About the same.” That’s tough enough for you to answer.  So please don’t put your loved one in a situation where he or she has to answer the question.
  7. If you are having an event at your house, discuss it in advance with your loved one so he or she knows what to expect. Accept his limits.  Accept her choices. Acknowledge his feelings. 
  8. If the person wants to be more visible during the holiday, brainstorm some things in advance.  What will he say when asked how he is? What will she do during the gathering? Is there a quiet place to retreat if needed?
  9. Tell the person whose home you are visiting what you may need in advance.  Please don’t put yourself in a position … helping cook at someone else’s home, for example … where you can’t leave with little notice. If you are stuck, have someone … a sibling or spouse … available to get the person home if needed. 
  10. All your great preparation may result in your loved one refusing to participate at the last minute. And that’s OK. 
  11. If someone offers to help you with any holiday preparation, ACCEPT. 
  12. When you make out your own Christmas wish list, see if you can ask for things that will reduce stress, whether it’s a massage, a day trip, a cleaning service or a gym membership. 
  13. Eat right. Avoid the alcohol. Sleep. And write out a list of things that you are grateful for this year.
  14. A nice thank you card to people who have been helpful to your loved one personally or professionally is always good.
housing

Housing for People with Mental Illnesses

Note: Sources of information for this post are NAMI.org, southeast.org, ood.ohio.gov, “When Someone You Love Has a Mental Illness” by Rebecca Woolis, and my six years working in an organization that provided housing for the mentally ill.

The lack of safe and affordable housing is one of the most powerful barriers to recovery from mental illness. When this basic need isn’t met, people cycle in and out of homelessness, jails, shelters and hospitals.

I agree with a philosophy called Housing First: Having a safe, appropriate place to live can provide stability to allow people with mental illness and/or substance abuse to stabilize and recover. Unfortunately, this housing is relatively rare. It takes organization and effort to get someone into the system.

As we all know, there’s not enough funding to cover the needs of people with mental illness. If the funding existed, case managers, social workers and vocational counselors would be handling housing and money issues for our loved ones. Since there isn’t enough money to go around, families often have to get involved.

Because of this, my No. 1 tip in dealing with the system is to make friends with a social worker. I met social workers at NAMI family support groups and events. This was invaluable in helping me understand how the system REALLY works. I also got excellent advice about where my son should be placed on a waiting list for housing.

What the Law Says

Several pieces of federal legislation prevent discrimination against people with mental illness in employment and housing. The most important in obtaining housing is Title VIII of the Civil Rights Act of 1968 (the Fair Housing Act). For most residential buildings (except some small owner-occupied buildings), this law forbids discrimination, such as refusing to rent or sell, denying that housing is available, and renting or selling on different terms.

That said, a history of arson and/or sexual assault usually keeps individuals out of housing for people with mental illness. Housing for people with mental illness is usually called housing for the disabled, in part to keep the neighbors from fighting it. People who are currently homeless usually get more help from organizations than those who are not.

Obtaining Housing

Many people with a serious mental illness live on Supplemental Security Income (SSI), which averages just 18% of the median income and can make finding an affordable home near impossible.

Housing options range from completely independent living to 24/7 care. The type of housing that is right for your loved one can depend on whether they need assistance paying bills, cleaning and making appointments or require no assistance at all. Here’s a look at some of the housing available.

Supervised Group Housing: Trained staff members are present 24/7 to provide care and assistance with things like medication, daily living skills, meals, paying bills, transportation and treatment management. These group homes provide their residents with their own beds, dressers and closet space, and shared bathrooms and common areas. This is the best type of housing for people experiencing a serious mental illness which may affect their ability to perform their daily tasks.  There’s virtually none of this in my part of the country, central Ohio.

Partially Supervised Group Housing: Some support is provided for the residents, but staff isn’t there 24 hours a day. The residents can be left alone for several hours and are able to call for help if needed. People who choose to stay in these group homes can perform their daily living tasks independently or semi-independently, help with cooking and cleaning and may even hold a part-time job or participate in a day program.

Permanent Supportive Housing: Supportive housing provides very limited assistance. The residents of these homes live almost independently and are visited by staff members infrequently. Community mental health center and social workers on site to help. Health care comes in.

Rental Housing:  Rent can be paid for in full by the individual or subsidized by a third party, such as the government or a non-profit agency. Someone who chooses this type of housing can take care of all their basic needs like cooking, cleaning, paying bills and managing their medication. They also may have a job and have or be seeking custody of children. If this is the right type of housing for your loved one, then they will still most likely work with a caseworker to manage their recovery.

Affordable Senior Housing: When your loved one becomes 55 or older, they usually qualify for affordable senior housing, such as offered by National Church Residences in 25 states. This housing for low-income seniors has no supportive services.

Ways to pay

Section 8: The United States Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) provides a number of housing assistance and counseling programs. The Housing Choice Voucher Program (Section 8) is the federal government’s program for assisting low-income families, the elderly and the disabled. HUD also helps apartment renters by offering reduced rents to low-income residents. Under this program, a renter pays 30 percent of their gross adjusted income for housing and utilities. The landlord then receives a voucher from the federal government which covers the remainder of the rent.

Section 811: The Supportive Housing for People with Disabilities Program (Section 811) is a federal program dedicated to developing and subsidizing rental housing for very or extremely low income adults with disabilities, like a chronic mental illness. The biggest difference between this program and similar ones is that it provides housing specifically for the disabled and ensures that all housing has access to appropriate supportive services like case management and employment assistance.

Applying for housing

If you can get a social worker or case manager to help fill out applications for jobs and housing, do so. You can practice any interview with your loved one. Interview tips include:

  • Don’t volunteer information about medical history.
  • Do not lie about job history, including positions held or lengths of time worked.
  • If asked about gaps in employment history, you can say “I was recovering from an illness,” “I was participating in a vocational rehab program” or “I was taking some classes.”
  • If there’s concern about ability to pay rent, you can say, “I have a guaranteed disabilities payment.”

Co-signing a lease makes you legally responsible for making sure the rent is paid during the period of the lease. Before you decide to do this, assume that you will pay all the rent and look at how that will impact you. Make your decision based on that. You also may become responsible for damages to the apartment, so be aware of that as well.

Housing in Columbus Metro Area

To apply for Community Housing Network housing, please call the Community Housing Network Intake Department at 614-487-6700. CHN has developed and manages more than 1,200 apartments. CHN provides rent subsidies to an additional 400 residents renting from private landlords. CHN also provides all customary property management.

National Church Residences takes its residents through Community Shelter Board, so call there.

To apply for Unified Supportive Housing System, apply for Alcohol, Drug and Mental Health Board of Franklin County housing, go to the Community Housing Network website, complete the CHN USHS Housing Request and submit to the CHN Intake Department.

Housing providers include:Alvis, Equitas, Community Housing Network, Maryhaven, National Church Residences, Volunteers of America of Greater Ohio, YMCA, and YWCA. These organizations usually take the homeless first. Ways to be homeless can vary, including couch surfing, or staying for one friend after another.

Next time we will talk about processes for getting a job when your loved one is recovering.