“It seems to me that we do not need to be taught how to lament since we have so many models in Scripture. What we need is simply the assurance that it’s OK to lament.”

Michael Card

He’s right. It is OK to come before God in sorrow through a prayer of lament. Many major figures in the Bible did. David, Job, Jeremiah and Habakkuk, for example, each poured out misery and fear as a pathway to God in bad times.

Before the pandemic, we rarely heard about this type of prayer. When we were locked down, some church elders talked about lament as they tried to help the frightened and angry reach out to God. That moment passed. But it hasn’t passed for all.

Lament remains a necessary prayer for families dealing with severe and persistent mental illness. It is the prayer of perpetual grief, of the dark night of the soul.

Yet lament also expresses faith. We face the pain as we face God himself. We lay the truth and our reality before Him. And we worship Him.

Lament doesn’t change God, but it does change us.

Get Help from the Holy Spirit

Graham Cooke wrote that the Holy Spirit (who is not called our Comforter for nothing) works with us when we lament. He aligns Himself with us and helps us to will to worship God.

One of the most famous laments came from Horatio Spafford in the 19th century. This successful attorney and real estate investor lost everything in the great Chicago fire of 1871. So he and his wife decided to recover in France. His wife and their four daughters left first, by ocean liner, while Horatio stayed behind to finalize some business. The ship sank. And Horatio got a heartbreaking telegram from his wife: “Saved alone.” On his way to meet his wife in France, Horatio passed over the spot where his beloved daughters drowned. Then he wrote this:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul. 

Originally a poem, it was set to music. And it has inspired millions.

Cling to God in Despair

Does writing a lament sound like complaining? It’s not. Because we refuse to let go of God. We are honest and open our hearts to Him, begging for understanding.

Job prayed deep prayers of lament. After he lost everything, he wrestled with God as he sought meaning. Job did not let God go. He said:

“I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end He will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God.”

Job 19: 25-26

Musician Michael Card commented, “Finally, we see in Job one of the most fundamental lessons we can learn from lament: that protesting and even accusing God through the prayers of lament is, nevertheless, an act of faith.”

Write Your Own Lament

You may want to write your own lament. One solid formula is the “though/yet” pattern found in Habakkuk. It begins by explaining the circumstances and ends in a solid statement of faith in God.

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will be joyful in God my Savior.”

Habakkuk 3: 17-18

Just follow these steps:

1. Find a quiet place with God. Set aside a block of time. Laments do not come quickly.
2. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.
3. Be in God’s presence.
4. Write down the “though” circumstances in your life. What challenges are you facing? What pain or grief do you feel?
5. Offer these things to God. Don’t ask for anything.
6. Worship God by completing the phrase: “Though these things have happened, yet …”

Praising God in the midst of difficulty is powerful because God stands in the moment with us.

Try to create your own lament. It is a powerful prayer that God treasures.