Good communications with people who have mental illness starts with listening well. Really hearing someone’s feelings and thoughts is a great gift of love and respect.

People with mental illness could be experiencing auditory hallucinations, overwhelming feelings of depression, intense anxiety, and cognitive disorganization. So we need to avoid arguments and heated communication.

They may feel lonely, inferior to others and disrespected. You may be able to have an influence on these feelings when you demonstrate your positive regard for them. When you show that you accept them and have compassion for them, you offer hope and understanding.  As a positive benefit, they may respond better to your requests.

What Not to Do: Types of Bad Listeners

This list is from Listening for Heaven’s Sake – Class Notes by Equipping Ministries International. Do any of the listeners below remind you of you? Particularly when you are under stress?

Type of Listener	Characteristics
The Interrogator	Asks lots of questions Focuses on the details Satisfies their own need to know Focuses on facts rather than feelings
The General	Gives orders Takes command or control Assumes responsibility Focuses on the outcome
The Pharisee	Blames and shames Condemning outlook Focuses on the person being “bad” Says “You should” or “You ought to” often
The Labeler	Oversimplifies problems Pigeon-holes people Believes that putting a name to it equals a solution Has a quick-fix mentality
The Casserole Person	Tries to cover over pain with food Avoids the unpleasant Expects kind actions to remove pain
The Historian	Focuses on the past Can’t remain in the present Speaks triggered memories Loses focus on the speaker
The Bumper Sticker	Gives trite answers Oversimplifies problems Is quick with clichés

Steps Toward Being a Good Listener

• Relax and be calm.
• Minimize distractions.  (Can I turn off the TV?)
• Make eye contact unless it is threatening.
• Discuss one topic at a time.
• Ask for opinions and suggestions.
• Don’t take it personally when it’s the illness talking.
• Avoid bringing up the diagnosis.
• Don’t use sarcasm.
• Speak simply and directly.

Next time we’ll discuss the basics of therapeutic communications: using reflective listening and I statements.